6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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