I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize