I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize