Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
