I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
