It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
