Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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