I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
