Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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