I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize