So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
