My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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