During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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