if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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