You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize