Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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