I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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