Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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