i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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