Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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