found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
