I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
