My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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