i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
