3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize