i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
