The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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