Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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