the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I believe in your delicious
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
