the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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