She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
