just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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