normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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