The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize