whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
