So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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