i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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