home. puking in laundry basket.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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