These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
