I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
