so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
