i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
