she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize