guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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