did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a dumb baby whore.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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