Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
