Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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