oh god the rape fog is back!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
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Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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