found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize