In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
