4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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