her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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