I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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