He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
