sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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